Eddie: Peking Duck Dinner

Meeting Family Friends

The other night, after exploring Shichahai, we went to a high-end restaurant at a very nice mall. We had a private dining room with a large circular table with a rotating surface in the middle for communal dishes.

We met Mama’s old school friend from Sichuan, Auntie Dong, and her family: her twelve-year-old son Simon, her brother Uncle Dong and his wife, their six-year-old daughter Xiao He, and Auntie Dong’s niece, Anna. Although the meal was extravagant; with octopus, sea cucumber, pig’s feet, jellyfish, squid egg soup, fish, and Peking duck; the food was hardly discussed. In all honesty, Mama’s cooking is much better.

These occasions often wax theatrical, with each person playing a different role. Simon faced enormous pressure from his mother to practice his English with me. Fidgeting and tapping on his iPad, he expressed how nervous he was. He wore a Minions shirt that said “banana nana nana nana…” He blushed when I complimented it. His mom’s pressure bordered on cruelty. She expressed how he played too many video games and was foolish to not use this opportunity to practice his English. “Oh my God!” he blurted in English, then rushed to the bathroom. It was all endearing though, as everyone was delightfully laughing, including Simon.

Eventually he warmed up to me and his English was very impressive. He recited the proverb, “when in Rome do as the Romans do.” He told us he liked basketball and said his favorite team was the Los Angeles Clippers. I told him I was from Boston and root for the Celtics. “Ah, Tatum!” he said, pronouncing the “a” as it sounds in “apple.” “Ah yes, Jayson Tatum!” I said, and his face lit up, delighted I understood him.

Later, I learned he wanted to know how tall I was. I stood up next to him and saw he wasn’t too much shorter than me. I told him he’d be taller than me in a few years, which he seemed to like. We took some pictures together, which Yining really enjoyed. Even with the criticism from his mom, he struck me as a spirited and energetic boy who will certainly become very good at English. These types of dinners are often stages for English learning, especially when a native speaker is present.

Yining spent a lot of time talking with Anna, who is a member of the Communist Party. She is a civil servant in Beijing in the Bureau of Statistics—a coveted position with great career prospects. She had to take a series of exams for the position, which includes extremely challenging math problems and, from what I’ve read, ideology tests. You can only take this test once a year.

She was very curious about the American party system, especially about how easy it is to switch parties. In all honestly, I hadn’t thought much about this. She also asked Yining a lot about how China is portrayed in American media outlets; particularly whether it is vilified. Some outlets can be harsh, Yining replied, but we read papers like The Economist, which present things accurately. “That’s good,” she replied.

For a party member, I would have expected her to be very red, but she was insightful, nuanced, and open-minded in her thinking. She was frank about the serious economic problems China faces, with special concern for mass layoffs and unemployment among young people. She gave the same figures I had read in the Economist, which surprised me because I thought a lot of this information was obfuscated in China. The People’s Daily, China’s biggest newspaper, does not mention the 20+% unemployment rate for young people but rather touts government recruiting initiatives and vocational education. Even the biggest problems are spun in a way that shows the government in a positive light. But Anna is an insider who sees the full picture, without the same information filter that most common people have.

Anna expressed hesitation to go abroad, largely for practical reasons. When you climb the ranks within the party, your passport is taken away so you cannot travel abroad. Even at lower levels when you can travel, the government keeps track of certain things. Having children abroad is a big no-no. I wish I would have talked to her myself, but I think she could express her thoughts much better in Mandarin.

Even though the dinner was almost exclusively in Mandarin, I felt very welcome. Uncle Dong complimented my Mandarin and my skills using chopsticks. Baba gave a toast, introducing me to everyone. Baba, Uncle Dong, and I each had a large glass of beer. Whenever either of them took a sip, they initiated a cheers between the three of us. When I was a bit ahead of them, I realized basically every sip was accompanied with a cheers.

The little girl, Xiao He, was the life of the party. Inuendos were passed across the table; mama and baba love being around young children and are so good with them! Xiao He at first was afraid of me and asked, “why is there a foreigner here?!” But later she warmed up to me; popping behind chairs to sneak looks at me. I did a peek-a-boo routine with her, which she got a big kick out of. She was the biggest source of entertainment. She did a dance, told fables, and even did a few splits! She said words in English to me across the table and I was expected to respond with the Chinese translation. Yining was a big help, as I don’t know my animals yet and still need to learn some colors.

Needless to say, this was a very stimulating experience for me. I could only pick up on words here and there but was intermittently put on the spot. I was exhausted by the end of the night but went to bed in very good spirits.